deplacer

by Pete Jon

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1.
03:34
got this barb in my craw got this dread in my maw got this dead in my eyes who will live, who will die hell of a world that they gave us get your gun get your jesus no life in the law nobody coming to save us nobody on the other end I make my anger my friend I'm made of nausea and smut I sing from the scorn in my gut you got this garden that you tend and no reason to behave us got a world to upend and nobody coming to save us we're made of sex and sorrow gladness glitter and tomorrow and I was born to get high who will live, who will die hell of a madness that made us of a scraped aching sound I don't know why we come down nobody coming to save us I'm made of booze and bread I'm made of light and lead and don't you grieve with aplomb? I never want to be dead I walk and whistle my tunes I run on fungus and fumes I take me just as I am nobody give us a damn we're made of dirt and death you can feel it sprout from you spine got a world to birth who will live, who will die who will care to engrave us? hell, I won't be done grieving until I am done dying nobody coming to save us
2.
put my love on camera the blood, the beating heart in the maw of a malady drugs and body parts put my love on camera laced with america little piece of history cased in a shopping cart got a place with a street view and an ache, nothing new and your face is a miracle I don't know what I mean to you put it down, now, mythical unravel me on the loom in the glove of ephemery all this love in one room and the voice on the stereo nothing but death on the radio and our life is magical feel it bend to nothing could you put your love on camera put your mouth all over me in the teeth of history aches and bodies medication and memory place and malady put my love on camera rage and threnody we hum a tune in the living room it's a simple melody all this love you can apprehend in the trace of a hand and the noise from the stereo dead air on the radio nothing but love and vertigo sex and chemicals if you put your love on camera put it down, now, rotting with the meat of america in the teeth of a body
3.
03:32
I count the sorrows in your eyes been growing and dying for a long time and I believe you, what you cling to you need a blessing you can recognize day without a name day without a name steeped in chamomile pummeled in the rain day without a name turning in a wheel we come out bloody small and sick we stay that way until we quit and we're growing to nothing we can't quite put our finger on it day without a name day without a name, feel it happening demoniac, the shape day without a name, waking from a dream in fear and hunger you easily forget you're always already there yet and the vultures hang lower you float downriver in a bassinet day without a name automatic emptiness is awakened imaginary ache the day without a name never will be taken the feeling cuts me down to size I need a blessing I can recognize day without a name day without a name, feel it immanent I float downriver in a bassinet I'm always already here yet now you win the game Day Without a Name when you think of it
4.
06:13
it's not that I hate the world just that I crave a spark not that I'm waiting for god not that I need an arc just that I thirst for you I'm hot for the commune I don't give a damn I wait for the movie to resume I hang on every word I watch the mouths as they move and I pine for the page to turn tied to a golden cord I push at the fortune wheel I blush at my doggerel I go down to the river wash in the fuzz and the feel I carry this body with me it's my only body and I crawl in this skin I blush at its sensitivity I'm mush when you hold me and I know I'm a body I know what gets me hot I know I'm a lot and it's not that I hate the world just that I burn to know now how all these bodies will unfold it's not that I'm waiting for god it's just that I want to believe it is enough you want to go to the show you me everyone we know feeding off of the band jacked on sugar and blow drink from a plastic cup crank the heat up what will you do with your feelings when you wake up I know I'm a sinner I love what I love I'm cold I go down to the river slip beneath the surface of the world this is the wayward goose out looking for plain ol' love and it's good when I have the juice this is your brain on drugs this is a wiretap this is a mass arrest this is birth, this is death it's not that I love this stuff but who do you think you are to just have me? thirty-odd years ago you just had me and though I'm filled with mercy I still hope to repay some debt I cannot remember quite what I owe and I cannot forget that I owe it I've only a glimpse of the map but I know when it's time to go I gather my body and pack I put my fucks in a row they said "you're a dreamer" they said "you're a communist" they need us to punch a clock but we know what time it is we head out with a taste on our tongue and a hungry soul we know there's places we won't come until we're old but we want to believe that the body is enough though it gives under the weight of birth and death
5.
04:50
I want to go to a new city with a new set of memories in me I don't give a damn for the remainder give me a reason to stay here you want to go to a new place where you can grow in new ways and you don't have a problem anymore I lace my boots but I can't seem to get out the door I love the wind in my face it whips against you so quick as you walk in place-- this is only a drill--look around you're a part of an army--you enlisted to skip town pull out a scarf from your hat pull out a reason from your heart I don't give a care for an explanation I don't have the juice--I don't have the patience I don't have you want to go to a new place you think you can grow with a new light on your old face I don't give a damn for the remainder your boundaries are bourgeois--you're an explainer I want to feel where I am I want to hold the feeling in my hand and kiss its face with my fingers I want to catch the winter light while it lingers
6.
03:34
even with the bug in the room and the eye of the beast on us all in our environs even with the pounding of the drum the hiss of the valve and cry of the siren even with the flaws in the love we are wresting from the fathomless put of the ocean even with the weight of the skin we were given at birth that same skin we will go in even if the sky never heals from the gape of its gash and the ache of its incision even if your face disappears in the cloud of some disease with ungodly excision even with the war at the root of my being and biding and yearning and breaking even with the spoils in the hands of a comfortable man who is taking and taking and taking and taking even with the infinite blood and the crack opened up in the earth when I was younger ever since the spirit awakened me marked me with dread and heaven and hunger even though you stumble through the day friend you are finding you way, you are gilded in grace even with the branch of your spine growing into a tree whose roots will embrace you when you die even with the ominous drone laying low in the back of the mind while you sleep even with the bodies of the gods dredging up from prehistory in the swell of the deep even with the fires below the fires within and the fires above burning everything to sickness and love sickness and love sickness and love sickness and love
7.
we came here to dance in the presence of our friends to lift up our hearts in motion entranced and we came here to dance emboldened emblessed not to pine for the past at another day's end not to fear for the future-- but the future's a mess and today is a gas and we came here to dance we came here to learn to move and adapt if you don't have the skills yet we can build us a skill set curiosity is limitless-- it's fear that kills it and when the nausea's upon us we gotta get out and flaunt us we gotta keep us an ember and remember to remember and take every chance we gotta get out and dance we gotta take every chance I am not done growing give me some room drink some water eat some food hold a friend growth doesn't end write a song grow 'til you're dead dance how you can and love how you move love the moving body and bask in the love it's a world in every little bud drink some water grow 'til you're dead I am not done growing give me some room drink some water eat some food hold a friend growth doesn't end write a song grow 'til you're dead grow 'til you're dead grow 'til you're dead grow 'til you're dead grow 'til you're dead
8.
03:22
until I heard your voice holding on, dear god I'd never thought I maybe am the dream not the one who wakes up an old familiar feeling a child reaching out where there is nothing and from nothing filling a magic cup you brought me back to the feeling I walk to the corner store with what limited time I have I get a case of beer I get a bag of bread with my ears buzzing I am wrapped in skin I'm masked in a grin I hear you sing as if you know one day you'll be dead you brought me back to the feeling you move me past the feeling then you bring me back to the feeling I'm high and the world is bending away you've got something to say you mimic and moan you bristle and bray you whisper and scream and I am a woodland creature I am a water feature I am the crack in your croon I am the boy in your moon I am the dying in your day I disappear like a bad dream
9.
03:45
(body sleeper) and your body turns to the moon like any body would do you feel it come alive you can feel the folds open up like any body in bloom and the turning is arrived and you take all your lust and prayer and you put all your energy there and you give it rest and care and you hold the feeling of a body beating and the chemical lives in you in the physical form you grew and your body turns to the moon in the night you can feel it come alive! (body sleeper) and your grief may never end but you're held in the body of a friend you can feel it ruminate and the body will buckle under pain but the body will not be ashamed and the turning is awakened and the sleeper is a traveler and the road is an unraveler and the chemical loves unfold and the physical form grows old and you dream a meridian where the moon comes up and you come alive (body sleeper) and you carry a plot in your bones and the bed is a road to a lonely place and I remember my ache as a boy and the limits of play and the weight of a name and I take all my lust and prayer and I put all my energy there and I give it rest and care and I hold the feeling of a body beating and the chemical lives in you in the physical form you grew and our body turns to the moon in the night you can feel it come alive! and the sleeper is a traveler and the road is an unraveler (body sleeper) when the moon comes up and you come alive (body sleeper)
10.
on the road you pass the time by singing a song and now you've come all this way to find what's been with you all along you who struggle with living you are all you have been given do you sleep at night? tell me what keeps you up I dream the whole world drowns in a paper cup I who dread for tomorrow you who struggle with sorrow in the car you sing aloud where does the road end? where does the getting there stop and the being begin? you are pummeled by wind you are bundled in skin and at night I keep hearing this grinding sound it is circumstance grinding our beloved future down I am not hoping for heaven I am all I have been given I am grieve now, quick, here, always as you drive grieve now, grieve now we're all going to die you and your memory-- there's an urgency and in my bed I cradle me through the night where I'll learn one or two things for the rest of my life I only hope to break even I am all I have been given I am
11.
when I come home there's a body in the basement I believe you when you say you didn't do it and the walls are closing and the walls are closing and the body is the body of a friend in the evening we remember how we knew them I believe you when you say you're truly grieving and the sun is going and the walls are closing and the body is the body of a friend and the earth will take in all the blood we're letting I assume the role of aiding and abetting and the mouth is closing and the car is running and the body is the body of a friend when I come home all the energy's a portent all I think about is the body in the basement and the mouth is foaming and the walls are closing and the body is the body of a friend (crush it up and stir it in water take it down drink it deeper it's a firecracker gonna burn out light it up get it hotter let your skin turn to leather you're a firecracker who has to burn out cut your baby teeth on hunger hit the nail in harder every firecracker gotta burn out choke it down in the smoke chalk it up to an opening act all bent and burnt out) I go to sleep! I dream these dreams! I fear for you! you make your words! you cut your cords! you stake your claim! you speak my name! I get no peace!

about

the deplacer puts things and loses them, shoves and shoves aside. you put love on camera--it is immediately gone because it has gone on record. history is a series of deplacements. the record of history, committed to the text of memory and chiselled on the stone of our hearts, shoves us forward and aside. if you are fortunate enough to have a place in history, you are alienated from here and now; you are gone because you have gone on record, and you are mystified in a nebula of deaths. america will never have its fill of death until death has its fill of america.

the day without a name is the impossible morning, zero winter, pleasurable thirst, theurgic, occultic, daemonic and all this yet ordinary, the day you might miss if you fail to attend. it's the every-moment, quick, here, now, interrupting the automatic as soon as you ask. the day without a name is lodged in the liturgical year, making fools of saints, putting christ in parallax with earth, the day that is as everyday and as combustible as the sunrise, the game you win just by thinking about it. nameless it shape-shifts so you can only recognize it in your own obscurity. be gaseous, be grateful, bite the head off every god who tells you to observe this or that particular day. the day without a name tells you nothing and asks nothing in return.

madness and its million mythical creatures together unravel history, return from record to place and time, pick the bones of america. madness signals toward dead air, the corpse of a radio that could only ever speak of death.

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released May 25, 2020

album art by bitch ranch

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Pete Jon Lansing, Michigan

Pete Jon is a singer-songwriter and collaborative producer in the DIY tradition.

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